wow the patience

link

so who wants one of these?

feed reader comes up with some really random stuff man....

heheh here is one of the weiredst things i read..... and i thought my design skills were poo

link

enjoy :)

English as a second language

The European Commission has just announced an agreement
whereby English will be the official language of the
European Union rather than German, which was the other
possibility.

As part of the negotiations Her Majesty's Government
conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement
and has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would be known
as  "Euro-English".

In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'.

Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of the 'k'.

This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one
less letter.

There will be growing publik  enthusiasm in the sekond year
when the troublesome 'ph' will be replased with the 'f'.

This will make words like 'fotograf' 20% shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan
be expekted  to reach the  stage where more komplikated
changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double leters
which have always been a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent 'e' in
the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer peopl will be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with  'v'.

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o' be dropd from vords
kontaining 'ou' and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to
oza kombinations of letas.

After ziz fifz yer ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find
it ezi tu anderstand ech oza.

Ze drem of ze united urop vil finali kum tru!

well well well

SO here we are after yet another loooong break....

well technically I had exams andhad to write my heart out to keep it beating when the results come out....

heheh

Well taht out of the way!!! on to the dissertation or thesis or whatever else its know as.... well brrn trying to figure out what needs to be done and


TADA!!!!

this is soo me :











heheh wel except i dont get the 2 years i do get 2 weeks of leave for working so hard hehehe :)

anyway amigos will try to keep u informed abt the happenings of the life of the seaxy, amusing Beast :D

good night

Sorry for the loooong break!

Well hello all... im baaaakKK!!!!!

(technically i have always been here...) well was travelling a fair bit these last few days.... was in dubai for a week trying to revise for the bloody exams.... then went on a 4 day trip to egypt where i tried to revise for my exams on camel back with no success... but i did successfull managed to split the camels one hump into 2....

well back in dubai today struggling to do more essential revision....

ps: i learned this in egypt :D

Mc Donalds --> the "Uni" isnt working

This was Mr. Daggy's drive through McDonalds experience:


The Lovely Daggy: Hi, I'd like a cheeseburger happy meal with fanta, 2 quarter pounders with cheese, 12 nuggets an...

Cashier: I'm sorry, you can only get nuggets in 6, 9 or 20.

TLD: OK, well whats 2 sixes?

Cashier: eight bucks

TLD: OK, give me a cheeseburger happy meal with fanta, 2 quarter pounders with cheese and 12 nugg..

Cashier: I'm sorry, you can only get nuggets in 6, 9 or 20.

TLD: (going purple) OK give me 6 nuggets, a cheeseburger happy meal with fanta, 2 quarter pounders with cheese and... you know what? make that 12 nug..

cashier: I'm sorry, we can't do nuggets in 12's.

TLD: what's 2 sixes?

cashier: 8 bucks

TLD: OK, I'll have a cheeseburger happy meal with fanta, 6 nuggets, 2 quarter pounders with cheese..... you DO sell them in twos, right? oh.... and you better give me another 6 nuggets. Can you read that back to me sweety?

cashier: sure, one cheeseburger happy meal with fanta, 2 quarter pounders with cheese and 2 six packs of nuggets, is that right?


TLD: I'm not sure, how many nuggets do I have altogether?

cashier: 12

TLD: lovely.... Frost you very much! have a good night dear!

Schizophrenia

MUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

One of early converts to the Golden Arches Mr. Robert Garnett shall be dearly missed as he as every convert to the life style of the arches he sadly passed away yesterday dressed ina Gimp Suit high on Toka-Cola, and few other undisclosed McD ingredients!!

Beast

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!

HELPPP!!!
I dont want to be come one of these mask wearing toka cola drinking McD vicitms!!!!!!!!
Save ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

K


PS: ful report here
lol check ou the comment left... it was you Jane wasnt it!!!!

Remember

How does a person want to be remembered??

Wouldn't the ideal way to be remembered be for what he achieved and also for who he was??

if it were an either or situation

Whould you be rather be remembered for WHAT you achieved??

or

Would you be rather remembered for WHO you were??

GEEK JOKE!!!

An excellent contribution from my cousin doing Further Maths (A Levels!!)

Sin x, Cos x, and e^x go to a bar… Sin x and Cos x get lucky with a few ladies and go home….

The next day they Sin x and Cos x call e^x and ask him why he didn’t pick up any women in the bar??

e^x replies, “Every time I try to integrate I just end up with myself!!!”

For those of you that know your maths well

!!!

Whoa..

Y oub etter watchou tyoubette rnotcryyoub etternotpouti mtellingyouwhys antaclausiscomin gtotownhesmakingali stcheckingittwicegonn afindoutwhosnaughtyandn icesantaclausiscomingtoto wnheseesyouwhenyouresleepin gheknowswhenyoureawakeheknow sifyouvebeenbadorgoodsobegoodfo rgoodnessakeohyoubetterwatchoutyo ubetternotcryyoubetternotpoutimtell i n g y ou w hy s a n t a c lausis com ing totown

omg....

generation gap

well as i was walking into university today for a "group meeting" i walked past the new London Center for NanoTechnology....

just outside this bulilding i sawa niec elderly couple looking at this building and the lady saying "What ever is this NanoTechnology?"

which just got me thinking... how much the world has changed in the last few years.... it is a tad bit scary to think if that will be me one day standing out side a university and wondering what all the fuss is about....

but dont get me wrong... my dad probably knows a load more about NanoTechnology than i can ever try to learn....

hehehe...
have good day folks....

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

this dude is a genious!!!

Therapy

Hello all....

after yesterdays episode and a visit to my therapist abt my mental state i think i should share with yall what he said...

From the doctors mouth:

"

As your psychologist, I am beginning to get closer to the root of your weight problems. I think you are suffering from ‘Burger-itis’.

Half all fatties suffer from this problem, so don’t be alarmed. It is an illness in which the sufferer hallucinates and views themselves as the one thing they desire most in this world – Burgers.

I have attached the picture of you as a burger (made using sophisticated brain scanning technology). I hope you can view it and refrain from wetting yourself this time…

It stems from an early childhood habit of eating – too much.

We will meet again and discuss further diagnostic techniques.

Dr. Q. Werty

aNUS Registered

"

he then had the paitence to draw up a picture for me... of my problem....

well here it is....

Craving for isolation....

hmm... after a pretty weird week of sampling al sorts of sea food to using my brain beyond the boundaries i could possibly imagine....

i have this randon urge to just be away frm all these people who are always around peeping over u shoulder like the guardian angles you dont want.... and the ones i really want to hang out with are toooo far away....

hmm... well lemme know if i need some therapy....

thanks :D

heheh

Got this one by email

It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time, and this should help get you started.

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup.

"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"

We Found IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here we have a rare sighting of the kriani turlapatus....

in its natural habitat this rare and one of its kind creature has no effect on its surroundings....

for more information please refer to the discovered of thie creature Mr. (we cant say his mane in public)

thanks you all and hope u like was u see

some bits n bobs

Well hope u lot are having a good weekend (any weekend may be better than mine :D)

saturday morning GMAT class :-s (not that i mind it cos i can go look clever....)
Sunday mornign tutorial with our friendly neighbourhood Prof.... (that i ahve to go to.. an i cant look clever they can see thru my disguise)

** Origin of thr Beast **

Origin unkown (color brown)

** End of Origin of the Beast **


** Ever Heard the Beast **

hmm.... Interesting

and

Fair Enuff

** End fo Ever Heard the Beast **


**New Species Alert**

During an all crucial Markething lecture the physicists of UCL have discovered a new species they have label Kiranus Turlapatious... its quiet big and hairy!! its longest know attention span lats for all of 0.05 seconds.... this species can be seen every friday in room G06 in the geography department.. Visting Hours are between 1000 hours and 1500 hours.... (Lunch Break 1200 - 1300)

**End of New Species Alert**


** Business Plan **

For one of the modules in the Course that im going MSc in Technical Ventures and Foundations in Eterprise (in case your wondering i didnt just make that up)... The Beast has been hired as the HR and PR Executive as he is a talkative shit....

after investigation into the issue it was found that the blame is to lie with a Mr. Arch of Mill Hill School who gave the beast a C in class for not participating.... (now he just cant shut up)

** End of Business Plan **

***** End of Post *****

Hello All!!

Hello all...

i am the beast... (different meanings of the word at different situations....)

thanks for looking me up or thaks fo reading this if i passed on the address to you...

well here i shall rave and rant about everything and snything that i think is interesting...

mind you most of it will be about me...

hope u ahev reading about what i have to say...

:D
Beast